What Kind of Drunk Are You?

Back in the late 14^th or early 15^th century, poet, nobleman, and (one assumes) at least occasional drinker Oswald von Wolkenstein prepared a list of twelve types of drunk, as related by Medievalists.net. Rather conveniently for us roleplayers, the number of types of drunk he identifies map onto the number of faces on the best polyhedral die¹. So without further ado… here’s a nice table.

1d12	Type of Drunk
1	Wise: You believe that the vast knowledge and experience of your years should be shared with everyone who can listen, whether or not they wish to listen.
2	Rich: Your finances are inexhaustible; the Emperor himself could not wish to be so wealthy. If your coin purse happens to be empty, it is a mere trifle which will be rectified come morning.
3	Hungry: No horse was ever so hungry: you ravenously consume anything which is plausibly edible, whether it be cooked or raw, fresh or rotten.
4	Sorrowful: All your past sins – real and imagined – burden your heart; you weep and cry over your misdeeds, and seek to do whatever is necessary to make amends to those you have wronged.
5	Unchaste: The hooded stranger in the dark corner? Totally your type. They were definitely giving you a look. Buy them a drink. Just remember to fade to black if when they take you to their room.
6	All Talk: You’re definitely going to open that tavern. And go on pilgrimage to the Holy City. And slay the Dragon of the Dry Wastes. After all, talk is cheap. And it’s not like anyone will remember tomorrow… will they?
7	Fighty: That so-and-so who spilt a drink over you? Outside. Now. Get your friends to hold your coat.
8	Happy: You have everything you could ever want, and more to spare. If others have greater need, why not gift it to them? Your magic sword? The services of your trusted hirelings? The deeds to your stronghold? Why of course, friend, may it bring you joy!
9	Indiscreet: Nobody has secrets any more. Everything you know, everything you see, everything you hear, you share it openly with everyone within earshot.
10	Wakeful: You fight against sleep: you will not rest until forced to do so, either by your own body or by the actions of another.
11	Singing: Totally uninhibited, without regard to the time, the neighbours, or your own ability. Volume is mandatory. Familiarity with the tune or the lyrics is not.
12	Vomiting: You know how the innkeeper told you there was a charge for special cleaning of bedding? People like you are the reason that charge exists.

Roll when you need to decide what kind of drunk your character is. At character generation if you want to be predictable. Or any time it comes up if you like chaos.

Even if drunkenness is not something you wish to gameplay, there are similarities between that state and any other in which a character might not be at their best. Hungry. Fatigued. Stressed. Dragged down a goblin-infested hole in the ground by some guy with a pointed hat and a treasure map².

¹: Yes, hexagons are bestagons. But icosahedrons are bestahedrons. I will not be taking questions.

²: Don’t trust a wizard. Nobody is giving fighters a privileged position on random encounter tables.