Return of the Hit Dice

It's no secret in the Fifth Edition community that Challenge Rating sucks. It's a guideline at best, and a rather loose one. There are all sorts of suggestions out there on how to fix it, or work better with it.

I have an alternative idea. Bin it entirely.

The King is....Not Dead? Still?

The King has always been the King. Even when Great-Grandfather was a boy, he had always been King. Nobody questions this. But the players might. Typical players.

Roll a d12 for the explanation they are given. One of these might be true.

1. He is the last surviving Elf King.

2. He consumes the souls of children to postpone death.

3. He is an undying vampire. Court cuisine is remarkably bland.

4. He consumes the magic of ancient Elvish artefacts to prolong his life. Those who provide him with them are generously rewarded. Nobody thinks too hard about what will happen when there are no more artefacts to harvest.

5. The Gods have blessed him with eternal life, so long as he serves their will.

6. He defeated Death in a duel. Death is still pissed off about it, but the Laws of the Universe must be obeyed.

7. Death just sort of… Forgot. It would be embarrassing to have to come back and call attention to the error.

8. Death came for his soul. He offered Death something far more valuable.

9. He died long ago, but his body has been occupied by a demon who finds it useful to wander the mortal world without drawing attention to itself.

10. He died long ago, but the King's Council has been keeping it a secret so long that the lie has become habit.

11. Actually, he's only been King for a few months, but powerful magic has made it so nobody can remember anything else.

12. The masses believe him to be King. As long as he has it, he cannot stop being King. Mere death cannot supersede this mandate.