Return of the Hit Dice

It's no secret in the Fifth Edition community that Challenge Rating sucks. It's a guideline at best, and a rather loose one. There are all sorts of suggestions out there on how to fix it, or work better with it.

I have an alternative idea. Bin it entirely.

You see, Fifth Edition back in 2014 had some OSR credibility. So lets do it the OSR way.

Encounter balance? Try to have approximately the same number of hit points and attacks per round on both sides for a fair fight. If one side has an advantage, it's an unfair fight. Roleplay accordingly.

And yes, that means 'run away or negotiate'.

As far as stats go...  The Fifth Edition way of determining them is an arcane process of 'guess a Challenge Rating, work out the numbers, check if you were right, repeat if necessary'. That's not good design.

Instead, just use Hit Dice. It's what you do for player characters, after all. A 5 HD monster? It has a Proficiency Bonus of +3. Extending the Proficiency Bonus chart above 20 HD is easy... +1 every 4 HD.

I've done a few spot checks, and this actually doesn't have as big an effect as you'd expect. ±1 to attack rolls and saving throws, generally, with a lot of stuff unchanged.

The same rate of progression as an Old-School Thief or Cleric, in fact... Coincidence? I think not. Which incidentally means you can usefully OSRify Fifth Edition combat by dropping proficiency bonuses by 2 across the board, and losing the Constitution bonus to Hit Points.

This messes up the skill system, of course. That's the problem with unified resolution systems. Or just do ability checks, with advantage if the character has a relevant skill. That's a problem for another day.

Other than this, though....

* Encounter balance is a bit simpler

* Monsters are easier to build

* PCs are more less superheroic

Sounds like a good start, no?

The King is....Not Dead? Still?

The King has always been the King. Even when Great-Grandfather was a boy, he had always been King. Nobody questions this. But the players might. Typical players.

Roll a d12 for the explanation they are given. One of these might be true.

1. He is the last surviving Elf King.

2. He consumes the souls of children to postpone death.

3. He is an undying vampire. Court cuisine is remarkably bland.

4. He consumes the magic of ancient Elvish artefacts to prolong his life. Those who provide him with them are generously rewarded. Nobody thinks too hard about what will happen when there are no more artefacts to harvest.

5. The Gods have blessed him with eternal life, so long as he serves their will.

6. He defeated Death in a duel. Death is still pissed off about it, but the Laws of the Universe must be obeyed.

7. Death just sort of… Forgot. It would be embarrassing to have to come back and call attention to the error.

8. Death came for his soul. He offered Death something far more valuable.

9. He died long ago, but his body has been occupied by a demon who finds it useful to wander the mortal world without drawing attention to itself.

10. He died long ago, but the King's Council has been keeping it a secret so long that the lie has become habit.

11. Actually, he's only been King for a few months, but powerful magic has made it so nobody can remember anything else.

12. The masses believe him to be King. As long as he has it, he cannot stop being King. Mere death cannot supersede this mandate.